I’ve always wanted a blog so I could write about how cool I think I am. And I truly do think I’m really cool because I know that that kind of self-confidence and belief in myself is my saving grace. (It’s good to know the things about yourself that save you. I recommend writing them down and saving them for a rainy day. Do this after you’re done reading my post, though). 

I don’t want you to feel sorry for me when you’re reading this because despite being unemployed, I’m really quite content. Sometimes I do wonder why and I have to remind myself that any other way of thinking or feeling would make me really, really, really sad and unproductive. It’s unproductive to be bummed out about my own reality because you know what!?!?

I have deserved everything that’s happened to me – good and bad. 

So here we are. Here I am. Sharing this intimate part of my life and struggles with you. If you’re reading this, you probably follow me on Instagram, aka my social network. You probably laugh along with my Instagram stories, or at least I hope you do because I reserve my silly and pretty moments for the gram. THANK YOU FOR BEING A LOYAL VIEWER. (We’re all a little Insta famous in our heads, okay). I’ve been unemployed for 77 days today. FUCK. MY. LIFE. Fuck it, I’m a failure and should crawl into a hole and think about how useless I am. I did that, I still do that on occasion, and it’s really easy to feel worthless when you don’t have a job.

It’s also not fun being unemployed. Yeah, I can do whatever I want; I can go to every museum in D.C., hike all the trails I want, go out on weeknights and stay out as late as I want and sleep in all day, and be drinking ALL THE TIME #ilovebooze. (These are some of the many suggestions I’ve been given). Unfortunately, none of that brings me a sense of sustainable joy. Not that my last job and current state of life was bringing more joy, either. I was unhappy with my job and unhappy without it. 

I lost my grandmother unexpectedly at the beginning of July and I was in a relationship I tried too hard at, and both took a toll on my focus and desire to perform well at work. It was a decision I consciously made, to focus more on my relationship troubles than my work performance. In the end, it became apparent that it was absolutely necessary for me to walk away from the job and the relationship that no longer supported me. Having it happen on the same day was just pure coincidence and I can’t wait for the day I can have that be my fun fact! I appreciate both that job and that relationship so much because it made me realize that I couldn’t be going through life the way I was and expecting to get very far. 

In the past 77 days, I’ve gone through a lot of tears, cover letters, resume edits and interviews. I’m the queen of following up now because I’ve been ‘circling back’ for the past 77 DAYS. I bet you’re wondering why I’m still unemployed. Me too. I’ve been working my butt off! I was so sure I was going to get this one job that I stopped pursuing other leads. Never put all your eggs in one basket, ladies and gents, because that’s how I ended up being circle jerked for the entire month of October. I didn’t get that job and I hate circles now. Back to square one, it was. 

I’m still working my butt off, harder than it’s ever worked. I’m fighting like the feisty person I am and I’m learning lessons that I believe are worth sharing. So that’s what this blog will be: me sharing with you the things I’ve learned so you don’t have to go through it. Being unemployed is not something I wish you have to go through. Let me go through it for you. 

Stay Tuned! – Emelie